Thursday, January 19, 2012

A labyrinth moment


This morning seven ministerial colleagues and I had the privilege of walking this labyrinth.  The labyrinth is quite old and is on the island of Maui, Hawaii.  The water you see is the shoreline of the ocean!

As we entered the labyrinth, our "pagan" priestess colleague instructed us to ponder this question:  "What is home?  Home is within each of us.  We go in, deeply, and we come back out into the world, but home is always there." 

The whole experience was wonderful and deep.  As I walked, I "tidied my home" by putting any rock that had rolled off back into place, picking up tiny bits of garbage, things like that.  It actually felt like I was keeping my own sacred home clean and tidy. 

When I came out of the labyrinth I felt washed clean and really, really clear on one thing.  My home is where I am.  It's where the love in me begins, and it's where the love in you "lands" when I see you.  It's where the heart opens and where I feel so safe, so secure, so Beloved of God that I can be really, truly who I came here to be.

So tomorrow it's on to humpback whales - there will be messages there too.  In the meantime, ask yourself: "Where is it I feel the safety of 'home' in my body?  In my life?" Home is sacred, holy ground - and it's right where you are standing.

Saturday, January 14, 2012

Why does it take so long for us to change?

I have been absent from this blog for a long time. It has proven difficult for me to realign my priorities to get done all the things I want to get done.  I know it's possible because I used to be able to do all kinds of things during a single day. Any more?  Not so much.

One obvious reason is Facebook. I love it! But almost every day I open up FB "just to see if I have any messages" and when I next look at the clock two hours have passed.

Another reason is laziness, pure and simple.  I must restructure my day to end earlier so it can begin earlier.  If I go to bed early, get a good night's sleep, and get up in time to meditate, read, contemplate and exercise.  I feel fabulous and my day is so productive. But I have taken to staying up late reading British murder mysteries and police procedurals, which means I don't get up early enough, which means something's got to give!  All too often it's the exercise piece.

So why don't I just start going to bed earlier and getting up to do what I want and need to do?  As I said, it's sheer laziness - I'm too lazy to discipline myself.  That is a fairly easy thing to change because  I see it so clearly.  It's just making a different decision at 10:00 at night - "go to bed" rather than "start reading a new book."

Other changes are much more difficult for us.  Why do we keep doing things we know aren't good for us?  Why do we continue to feel unworthy?  Why must we change our thinking over and over again before it "takes"?

There are unoubtedly lots of reasons, but the one that came to the fore for me recently is this:  Our society has not yet evolved away from the notion that we are "set" in our ways of thinking, our beliefs, our personalities, by the age of two or three years, and those beliefs are determined by our childhood experiences.

I don't believe that.  I believe that it is our perspective, the place we focus from, that creates ways of thinking, and I know that perspective can change.  

We all grew up with parents who, most of the time, reacted in whatever way they reacted to life's ups and owns.  We saw their reactions over and over again,which set up a "norm" in our heads as to what reaction is appropriate to a particular kind of event.  At some point we make a decision that we must be contributing to or causing the reaction, since we always seem to be around when it happens (not really, but it must seem that way to a child).  From there we connect our "misbehavior" or our "shortcoming" with this reaction until it becomes seared into our psyche:  there is something wrong with me because my parent reacts so frightfully to me!

No one ever teaches us that the reaction has nothing at all to do with us!  Instead, our society teaches us to personalize everything - every time we walk into a room and conversation stops, we assume it's because the other people were poking fun at us and didn't want to get caught.  Perhaps they were planning something nice to surprise us with instead (this has been my actual experience, by the way).

When someone treats us angrily we assume we must have done something to incite their anger. More likely, the person who is angry does not have a good relationship with himself or herself.  Neither do we, until we get to the point of realizing that nothing "out there" is about us. What IS about us is "in here" and so we can change it.

That's what nobody teaches us when we're young - or maybe they try, but we cannot hear it. Maybe human life is just so complex and beautiful/painful that we have to live with our misconceptions until we have learned enough to break through them.  Maybe -- but I'm going to do all I can to make sure everybody - especially every child -- around me knows that it's never about them.  It's always for them.  Because I know it's true. 

Oh, and look for my blog posts regularly now - I'm going to bed early and getting up early so I can care for myself and do all the things I need and want to do.  I'm changing that thinking for sure!

Love and blessing,
Rev. CC Coltrain